EDITOR'S PERSPECTIVE: Lonely places can be anywhere

They can all be lonely places and I have experienced them all.

That feeling of isolation can strange you at any time, whether you are having the best of days or the worst of times. It can be a slow burner, stalking you from a distance for days before closing in, or can grab you without warning and sometimes it feels as if the only answer is to run.

But where do you go? Alan Sillitoe’s The Loneliness of the Long-Distance Runner is a fantastic exploration of the illusion of escape, but taking the title as a standalone, is it worse than experiencing the feeling on a short or middle distance run? After all, they don’t go on as long, but maybe don’t hive you the time to think your way out of it.

It hit me in the middle of a football match (it wasn’t even that bad) around 18 months ago, then subsided, with occasional returns before catching me unawares just yesterday.

There’s plenty going on and I’m in the centre of it, but it feels as if I’m the person in the circle whose head everyone is throwing the ball over. Some of it is about me, but I’m somehow not involved. Others are and I don’t even know them.

Decisions are being made, my lack of input not a problem, I’m just a name.

Briefly I rally. “Get over yourself, who do you think you are? You’re not that important. Not important at all.” Those last two bits don’t help much.

I think about wars, people who have lost their homes, families, possessions and futures. That scale of relevance should tip the balance and it does, but only briefly.

The music I’m listening to isn’t helping – “There's a crack in the roof where the rain pours through/That's the place you always decide to sit.” Obviously it’s not meant literally and I’m not sure about the word decide. I don’t feel as if I’m given a choice today. I’ve been placed there.

Come on, snap out of it, get a grip. I have lost count of the amount of time I have been told that over the years and, you know, sometimes I can, but it’s not always that easy. The other people have it much worse than you argument is a good one, but it generally doesn’t result in me suddenly bursting into a rendition of Bring Me Sunshine.

Human resilience is a very strong attribute and people pull through some extraordinarily bad situation, but if your life is bumped off course when you are already in a bad place then no amount of cajoling can provoke a positive approach in a practical sense.

Talking, telling people who will actually listen works to a degree, and maybe it’s not the actual story you have to tell but actually finding someone to tell it to. When your brain doesn’t want you to do that though it can shut out all possible solutions. Then it’s simply about biding your time and letting as many people as possible know how you feel.

For now I’ll sit in the rain.