Cooking with Warney — how the Millers boss is coping with the solitude of the coronavirus crisis

Preparing a family meal is the Rotherham United manager’s main concern of the evening along with some bonding time with 13-year-old Riley.

Rustling up food for four isn’t something the 46-year-old normally does a lot of. But then these aren’t normal times.

With coronavirus precautions gripping the country, the Warne family, like the rest of us, are in lockdown.”I’ve been cooking with my daughter to give my missus a break,” the Millers boss says. “I used to enjoy cooking but I haven’t cooked for God knows how long.

“Me and Riley, we cooked this chicken and red lentil dal the other night.”

Warne should be leading his men in their push for League One promotion but football is off the menu for the foreseeable future as the world seeks to get a grip on the Covid-19 pandemic.

An existence without the weekly need to win is a pleasant novelty. However, a renowned people person is craving contact with his good human beings.

“Social distancing is hard for me and it’s even tougher not seeing my squad,” he admits. “I’m a hugger, aren’t I? I am really struggling with it.

“There isn’t the pressure there usually is on me. I feel a bit more like ‘Paul’ and less like ‘The Gaffer’, if that makes sense.

“I feel like I’ve found myself a little bit. I know that sounds a bit deep. It’s weird because every day feels like Sunday. You don’t feel ‘time poor’, which has been quite nice.”

We’re talking on the phone on a Wednesday afternoon, two days before the club decide to close their Roundwood training complex completely.

Fit players had already been working out individually at home and the Millers HQ will be virtually deserted in the coming weeks.

Warne has been for a walk with his family to clear his head after a long conference call with his staff and sounds in his customary cheery spirits during our half-hour chat.

“How are you anyway, Mate?” he asks, mindful that it’s nearly three weeks since we last met in person.

“The home-schooling has been a bit strange,” he tells me. “My daughter keeps saying: ‘Dad, you said you were good at maths.’

“I look at these fractions and multiplication things and think: ‘I don’t remember a thing.’ That’s a bit worrying.

“My son, Mack, was supposed to have his GCSEs in the summer. He’s got a right jolly-up, hasn’t he?”

The manager spent a happy hour last Saturday night hosting an online Millers quiz from his home, donning suit, tie and a Rotherham beanie hat for the occasion and sipping from a bottle of Birra Moretti lager as he tested supporters’ knowledge.

The questions no-one can answer right now are, when will football return and will this season be played through to its conclusion?

To make up for the dearth in personal contact, Warne has been contenting himself with texting all of his team and sending them some podcasts that he thinks they might enjoy.

Players are following a training schedule which is updated daily in their private app and he and his staff have been joining in the online stretching, core and strength sessions being run by fitness chief Ross Burbeary.

Then he gets to work with sous chef Riley.

“The dal, it had lentils in,” he says. “You had to heat up the milk, do the lentils, and then there was this onion and garlic sauce thing for the chicken.

“My daughter kept saying: ‘Dad, it’s a bit milky.’ I’m thinking: ‘Cor, it is a bit milky. This dish is not really happening.’

“She said: ‘Have you put the lentils in?’ I’m like: ‘What?’ I’d completely forgotten about them. Luckily, my assistant saved the meal.”

Rotherham were in second spot when the EFL suspended fixtures until the end of April at the earliest and the manager believes the final games of this season should be played, whatever the time frame, before the next campaign begins.

The EFL, Premier League and Professional Footballers’ Association have agreed to work together and were due to follow up last Friday’s joint meeting with another this week.

The Millers had been due to travel to top-six rivals Wycombe Wanderers tomorrow and Warne, while the Government are allowing one form of exercise a day, is finding his own way of hitting the road.

“I’ve been out running most days and going out for family walks on the others,” he says. “I’ve been running for longer than I normally do because I feel like I’ve got to enjoy the hit. I’m not really a ‘sit at home’ sort of guy.

“I’ve been running around eight kilometres. I’d normally run ten if I was with Richie (assistant manager Barker) but on my own, around the village, it would usually be five or six.

“I’ve been doing more in my shed at the bottom of the garden. I’ve got a few bits of weights in there and I throw them about.

“Because the weather has been so nice a lot of the time, I’ve just been chilling outside really, which has been lovely. I feel for people who live in an eighth-floor flat and haven’t got outside space. That must be tough.”

Warne has also turned a brush with boredom into something more rewarding.

“My missus has got me painting,” he sighs. “It’s not really my thing, Mate, but I’ve been listening to podcasts while I’ve been doing it which has really relaxed me. I’ve been listening to Finding Mastery — Conversations With Michael Gervais. It’s all about the psychology of high performance. I’ve listened to his interview with Garrett McNamara, who’s one of the best big-wave surfers in the world.

“I’ve been painting around the bottom of my shed. My missus doesn’t trust me with proper painting jobs. I get nowhere near the house. I’m allowed to do shed, gate and fence. In that order. I was just sitting there painting concrete. I couldn’t mess it up really. It’s like painting by numbers. My missus just gives me a paint tin and says: ‘Do that and nothing else.’

“Mrs Warne has convinced herself she wants to change the colour of the gate. That’s fine, but it means all the panels in the fence have to be painted the new colour as well. One job leads to two. She’s sly like that.

“In fairness, there’s no rush, is there? I could do one panel a day and still have it all done before we get back to the training ground properly. That could be three or four weeks or much longer.”

By then he might even have perfected his chicken and red lentil concoction.

“It turned out all right,” he says. “I’ll give it a solid seven out of ten. It was still a bit moist because the lentils went in late. It certainly needed the naan breads for a bit of mopping up.”

His thoughts turned to no matches, no contact, no Millers; painting and pining for his players.

“I miss everyone,” he says. “I’m not being a drama queen about but everyone misses seeing people they like and love, don’t they? Everyone knows how close I am to the team and how close they are to each other. It’s a big loss at the moment.”

Until football is played again he will feel this way.

Life, like the dal, is lacking something.

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EXTRACTS FROM PAUL WARNE'S ADVERTISER COLUMN

‘WHAT is happening with the Warnes’ quest to add a dog to the family?’ I hear you ask.

Nothing as yet, I have to confess, but we are trying and at some point a Rhodesian Ridgeback will be digging up what passes for a garden at Warne Acres.

There were puppies for sale in Sheffield and Stoke that were available now. However, the breeder in Sheffield never responded to my text.

Then, after two glasses of wine, I got emotional about my old dog and texted the breeder in Stoke. She said: ‘Yeah, we’ve got seven dogs and four bitches.’ I thought: ‘Here we go, we’re cooking.’

I saw the pictures of the mum and dad. Looked good. Saw the pictures of the puppies. Looked good. Then I was telling the breeder: ‘Yeah, I’ve had a ‘Rhodie’ before, I really like them, we love the breed.’

I sent a picture of my old dog, who I loved like a son. Then I said to her: ‘I’ll speak to my missus. What time can we come and view?’

I never got a text back after that! I was trying to come across as this really diligent dog-owner, thinking I was doing the good thing here, and she must have thought: ‘He’s a weirdo, I’m not texting him back.’ I was devastated! She just left me hanging.

The breeder I’ve always wanted to use is in Doncaster but I can’t have a pup until July from there. That’s a pity because I would like a puppy now in these testing times.

My friend has just got one and he says it’s keeping everyone sane. The dog is buzzing. It can be trained because everyone is at home.

It’s a great time to get a dog. The sad thing would be when everyone went back to work or school and the dog is like: ‘What’s happening here?’

I could end up getting a pup in July just as football maybe resumes and we have nine games in a month. That would still be okay. The dog would be my stress-absorber.

I’ll keep you posted.

THE players are training on their own at home because of the coronavirus restrictions. They miss each other and I miss them.

They’re social animals. They’re used to training in groups and used to being outside for long periods of time.

Things seems weird to them right now. They’ve lost the structure to their life.

In some ways, being a footballer is a bit like being in the Army. You’re used to being told where you’ve got to be, what time you’ve got to be there and what you’re doing. That’s virtually every day of your career.

Even in the off-season you get programmes to follow. With GPS tracking, we know what times the lads have done on their runs.

They’re finding self-isolating quite tough. We’ve encouraged them to buy bikes and treadmills, as long as they don’t live in a second-floor flat. A treadmill wouldn’t be so good then!

They all have to go for runs and we’re also doing online training with them so they don’t feel like they’re training completely alone.

Every day they get together for a session on an app called Zoom so they can see each other’s faces on screen and communicate with each other as a group.

The workouts, led by head of player performance Ross Burbeary, are changed every day and the staff are taking part in them as well.

I think the world will get a little bit worse before it gets better so we might all face a complete lockdown at some stage.

If the lads can’t get out for a run, the online sessions will become even more important.