My pauper's lifestyle and why I stayed fully clothed at the team barbecue ... the Paul Warne Column

KEEPING IT TIGHT ON YORKSHIRE DAY

IT didn't escape my notice that it was Yorkshire Day last week.

I am an adopted Yorkshireman so I am allowed to be tight with my money. I love that.

Pounds are prisoners with me. Any day that allows you to celebrate such a state of affairs is a marvellous thing in my book.

The day before Yorkshire Day, I was extravagant because I went to the cinema with Richie (assistant boss Barker) and Hammy (coach Matt Hamshaw)

This is how good we are ... Richie has got some life assurance where he gets a free ticket and I have a Compare sort or Meerkatty thing. So three of us went to the cinema and it cost about a fiver between us all.

We didn't have snacks. Obviously. Too expensive. When I take my kids, I buy the treats from the supermarket and sneak them in. As I was with adults on this occasion, I didn't sneak anything in. It seemed a bit low, even for me.

We did take Starbucks coffees in but Richie had a voucher for a free one.

So, all in all, we had to pay for only two coffees and one cinema seat between us.

I'm fairly sure that if we had had one more voucher of some kind the cinema would have ended up paying us to go in.

I accept that I am a cheap date. I have thoroughly embraced Yorkshire life.

My wife and kids were away last week, so when I went home I literally went straight to my bedroom and watched TV.

My missus doesn't get it. But why would I be downstairs? I need to put electric in only one room. I might as well be in the room I'm going to sleep in. Why would I hang out downstairs?

I was eating salads as well while she was away so there was no need to put the oven on. Perfect. And I ate out of a tray one night so there was no need for hot water.

My frugality has been right up there. Yorkshire Day is made for me. I fully embrace it.

HIGH HOPES FOR KYLE

IT was good to start the season with Kyle Vassell in the side and win our first match, away to AFC Wimbledon, 2-1.

There was plenty of speculation about him moving to Salford City but he's still here and I reckon he can rack up a double-figure goal tally for us.

He is happy to play here, especially if we play three up front. I think it suits his game more than anyone. It wouldn't surprise me if he scores 15 goals and then a bid comes in for him in January.

Playing this system and giving him that freedom will really show his ability in the best light. I think Rotherham fans will be really pleased with what they see of him this year.

I had a conversation with him about the interest and also about where I stood with it and where I saw him playing in the team.

I am always transparent with all my players. When bids come in, I tell them straight away.

I played for a manager once who received a bid for me and never told me about it. When I found out six months later, I was raging. I don't think that's the way to manage.

If a bid comes in — even if, no disrespect, it's 50p from Maltby Miners Welfare — I'd pull the player about it.

If a player says he 100 per cent wants to go then I'd listen to it. But that hasn't been the case with Vass.

BLOW FOR BILLY

I REALLY feel for our right-back, Billy Jones.

He played a full part in pre-season and then picked up a heel problem just before our League One campaign got under way.

He hasn't fully recovered from it, which is understandably depressing him.

All the lads have had to give speeches about themselves to the group and Billy delivered a great one.

He was saying how much he really wanted to have an amazing season so his kids could remember it. They were too young to appreciate it when he was in the Premier League.

He's had a brilliant career but there have been a few relegations. He said it would be great if he could have a promotion season so his kids actually thought he was good.

He hardly missed a session and then this heel thing came up. It's hit him pretty hard.

FIXTURE FRUSTRATION

THE season hadn't even started before we were hit with a load of fixture alterations.

The Portsmouth away game is off and has yet to be rearranged, the match at Lincoln City has been switched from a Saturday afternoon to a Friday night and the derby at Doncaster Rovers will now kick off at 12.20pm rather than 3pm.

The changes bother me if they bother the fans.

Kick-offs at 12.30pm are horrendous. 3pm Donny away would be perfect for us. You get up, have your pre-match and then pootle over there. Now, suddenly, your pre-match is your breakfast. It messes with your body-clock.

I don't like it. I'm a bit of a traditionalist. I love 3pm on a Saturday.

Flipping fixtures around isn't something I'm a fan of, but I respect the fact that there are a lot of things involved in the decisions now.

The way society is, there are more and more police involved in games and obviously they can't stretch themselves too far.

I prefer 3pm kick-offs but the decision to change them is beyond my control.

SAD FOR BRAD

WE said goodbye to trialist winger Brad Dockerty last week and I was sad to see him go.

When he played against us for Bradford Park Avenue in pre-season, he caused us no end of problems.

He joined in training with us and it turned out it was just a little bit too quick for him. We watched him train and play in a game and it just looked like a little bit too much.

We don't run an under-23 squad here so I couldn't offer him anything in that area.

It doesn't mean he won't have a great career. We've tried to put him into a couple of clubs where he might have a better opportunity to play.

As romantic as the story was, we're not a charity. We can't just give out contracts. I didn't think we could help him enough for him to get into our first team any time soon.

I wish him all the best. When we spoke to him, he said he couldn't believe how quick it all was.

If he goes on the terraces, he can cheer on the lads because he knows now how hard it is.

NO NEAR-NAKED WARNEY ON THE BARBECUE MENU

WE held our club barbecue at the training ground just before the season started. Nearly all the players and their families were there.

It was excellent. Thanks for asking.

My wife didn't cook this time. We went full big nuts and had outside caterers. Last year, Mrs Warne and Mrs Hamshaw (wife of coach Matt) cooked and it was surprisingly good.

We've gone down a league but we've gone up a league on the barbecue front.

The weather was very hot. Boy, did the sun shine. We had water-slides this year — you know, the ones you put out on the floor. We had those for the kids and they went down a storm.

The daughter of our left-back, Joe Mattock, set the record. She went, like, nearly the full length of the football pitch, which is highly impressive.

I think I know where she gets her craziness and lack of attention to danger from. Dozy Joe has got a massive part to play in that.

I want the players' wives and girlfriends to know each other. When players come to a club they have 25 new friends within two or three days. The wives and girlfriends — and boyfriends, if that exists — don't.

I want them, when they do come to their first game, to know the other women and kids there. It makes it easier for them. And happy wife, happy life.

It was nice for them all to meet everyone. The chairman came down as well. That's the sort of club we want to be.

I didn't have a go on the water-slide. I don't know why I'm so serious and didn't have a go. I think it's the fact that you can't really go on clothed because it adds friction.

No-one wants to see a near-naked gaffer sliding around. That's not right for many reasons.