You might be a F1 champion, but move over Schumey old boy

AN infuriating characteristic has over come seven-times F1 World Champion Michael Schumacher since he reached the big 4-0.

It is something that I’m not aware that I have ever seen in a motorist so young but, given that Schumacher has probably done more driving than most, he’s probably somewhat advanced in automotive years.

What am I talking about? The compulsion of sedate, usually elderly, drivers to show a devastating turn of speed off the line before quickly reverting to their role as a rolling road block.

Every day, regardless of the car I happen to be driving, some meek-looking pensioner eyes me aggressively from their position at an upcoming junction.

He or she is just about to join the road I am travelling down and I know what is going to happen as I approach.

As I get within ten or fifteen yards, with a screech of spinning tyres, the roar of hard-straining small capacity engine and through gritted dentures the momentarily wild-eyed silver top lunges into the road ahead.

Cue hard application of brakes and frustrated muttering (no hand gestures, I’ve been raised better than that) on my part as my steady cruise is curtailed.

After the initial fury of its breakneck, standing start the car ahead slows its trajectory and settles into a 28mph maximum as I quietly seeth.

Now, I don’t claim to be Jenson Button and these infuriating elderly motorists certainly don’t share many characteristics with Michael Schumacher, but when I watched the current F1 World Champ being held up for the best part of forty laps by the sport’s old timer in Barcelona on Sunday, I knew something had changed in the formerly ballistic German.

It seems that having somehow found enough speed to install himself in fifth position (later fourth, due to Hamilton’s late departure) the Schu-minator conspired to do nothing more than frustrate the much-faster McLaren driver.

As much as Jenson bit his lip in an attempt to show the ageing racer due respect, he just couldn’t get past, looking as stranded and impatient at 180mph as I look at 28mph.

After returning in what look increasingly like the twilight years of his career Schumacher, at just 41 years of age, has become little more than a rolling road block!

He won’t be worried though...if he can make the same electric standing starts as his fellow ageing motorists he’ll be slowing the rest of the pack down from up front.