Grieving parents determined no-one else will suffer the same after tragic death of son

“The back door slams and I’m expecting him to walk in or come tumbling downstairs.

“It’s like it’s a dream and I’m going to wake up it just doesn’t feel real.”

Simon Haycock is talking about losing his 16-year-old son Sam, who died in Ulley Reservoir after going to the beauty spot with friends to celebrate finishing Year 11 in May.

Sam’s mum Gaynor echoes Simon’s feelings, adding: “It feels like I’m in a dream only it’s a nightmare.”

The East Dene couple have coped in part with the pain of Sam’s death by campaigning for more safety equipment at open water spots and highlighting the risks of going for a dip on a sunny day.

Their aim is to keep Sam’s memory alive, while hopefully preventing future tragedies.

Sam’s Army Mission, the campaign group born out of an online memorial group for Sam, collected £1,600 at Rotherham Show, and a sponsored walk from Ulley to Clifton Park’s bandstand, where Oakwood student Sam loved to hang out with his mates, brought in at least £3,000 more.

Simon insists “the message is more important than the money” but adds that the money once they reach a certain threshold, will pave the way to charitable status.

Asked why he is so devoted to the cause, where other parents would have shut their doors and hidden from the world, Simon is clear: “One lady came up to me at the Rotherham Show and said: ‘It’s fantastic what you are doing for Sam.’

“I said: ‘I’m not doing it for Sam and that’s the harsh truth of it.’”

There was fresh heartache just days before the sponsored walk when news came through that another teenager had died at Ulley.

Simon says he was “absolutely gutted” on hearing the tragic news but it has made him more determined than ever to continue campaigning in Sam’s name, adding: “Part of our campaign is we want to see railings along the bridge at Ulley because it is just too tempting for some people.”

One of the campaign’s main aims is the provision of more life-saving throwlines at the water’s edge and for them to be easily available.

Currently, the lifelines are secured by a padlock, which can only be opened using a four-digit code given by a 999 operator as part of a process Simon believes is too prolonged and wastes precious time in a life-and-death situation.

“It can take up to about 13 or 14 minutes as it’s an average of eight and a half minutes for a 999 call to be answered it only takes up to three minutes to drown,” he says.

Simon is fine-tuning plans for a system that would bypass the need for a code and allow the throwline to be used quicker.

Fellow campaigner Jodi Ryalls who contacted the Haycocks out of the blue to offer her assistance after Sam’s death says the campaigners have discovered throwlines only cost £35 each, adding: “We were shocked when we learned that. It’s like putting a price tag on someone’s life.”

Simon adds: “With the best education in the world, human nature tells you that peer pressure on the kids and things like that there are still going to be people going in water.

“So that equipment needs to be there and it needs to be accessible.”

The campaigners also want to see tougher penalties for thieves stealing or vandalising throwline stations which Simon says he considers to be involuntary manslaughter - and stark warning signs with Sam’s picture placed at open water spots.

“I want them to say ‘Danger: Deep Water. Do Not Swim’ and there will be Sam’s face, a picture of his funeral flowers and the message: ‘Don’t be like Sam”,” says Simon.

At a recent awareness day at Manvers Lake, Simon spotted similar signs with a photo of Philip Law, the 15-year-old boy who drowned in 2010.

“The feedback we’ve had from that is that it has actually reduced people going in,” he says. “It’s not stopped it, but it has reduced it.”

Simon recalls his horror this summer when he was filming with a documentary team at Thrybergh Country Park and he heard a splash someone was in the water.

“I realised there were still people doing it,” he says.

“I was angry. I was scared. I felt upset.

“Seeing them in the water just put Sam in my head.”

Aside his grief, Simon admits he had been angry on hearing what had happened to Sam, who could not swim, but adds: “It was very short-lived because I thought: ‘Who’s not done something like that?’

“As a kid, I probably did a lot worse and put myself in more danger.

“I never knew the dangers of cold water shock, but it’s like when you walk out into the sea having that feeling all at once when you jump in, and your body can’t cope with it.”

Proudly cradling one of the many trophies talented judo player Sam won before his life was cut so cruelly short, Simon reflects that his son’s ADHD, which he believes gave the promising fighter a fearlessness which aided his game, may have been a factor in his death, adding: “He didn’t have the fear or see the danger some people would have.”

Sam’s trophies are just one part of his legacy, alongside the friendships he made and the way his passing has inspired others, whether in campaigning in his memory or taking up judo in his memory.

“He had Kevin the Teenager syndrome and he could be a right pain for us at times, but what has been unbelievably comforting for me is hearing how, when he has gone out into community, he has been so respectful to his friends’ parents,” he adds.

“When we went to the bandstand for his balloon launch, I couldn’t believe there were so many there.”

Gaynor adds: “They were all his friends. He used to share himself around so they could all have a little bit of him.”

Sam’s parents, while comforted by the joy their “cheekie chappy” spread during his short life, are determined to do whatever they can for as long as it takes to ensure no family has to go through what theirs has.

Simon concluded: “I’m out of my comfort zone, doing all this, and I’m happy to learn, extremely quickly, about all the aspects of water safety.

“And I know if I don’t do what I can, every single time there’s another drowning I will feel guilty that I could have done something and I didn’t.

“Most of all, I’m doing it because I don’t want anybody else feeling what I feel.”