KEEP QUIET… P-L-E-A-S-E

NEW Year is a time for making resolutions, turning over a new leaf and laying to rest the mistakes of the past.

But the dog-with-a-bone aspect of my character just wont let some things lie and one particular old chestnut, the subject of anti-social cinema punters, fits into that category.

To that end, and in the spirit of New Year’s Resolutions, Im vowing in 2010 to do my bit to make the multiplex a more pleasant place for the filmgoer.

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I aim to contact all the big cinema chains plus the odd independent and find out what their policy is in relation to noisy customers.

And crucially, what will they do if that idiot in the row behind you refuses to pipe down when politely asked?

Cases like the one last year when a particularly-vicious youth tracked down the female cinemagoer who had asked him to keep quiet and threw bleach in her face are thankfully few and far between, but chatting, hyperactive punters are a common irritantand there is no excuse for them.

Why should people pay through the nose to see the latest releases, only to have them ruined by selfish people talking all over the dialogue?

For their part, I want the big chains to do all they can to keep cinemas quiet so that everyone can enjoy the film in peace. Is that too much to ask?